Just for a change, we have a GQ on skipped gear. I normally have to imagine questions, because there aren’t any readers asking any. However, a genuine comment appeared on my last post–from a genuine reader–and it included a question.
(In case you were wondering, the title says GQ, which stands for a Genuine Question, as opposed to an IQ being an Imaginary Question.)
donmatthewspoetry asked “By the way, haven’t heard from you for a while? Hope you haven’t had trouble with your gears slipping again?……
Admittedly the actual question is implied, and probably really is ‘Where the hell have you been?’
It is quite nice to be missed, even if it is by only one reader. I’m sure the other four readers will say they have missed me posting recently too.
Anyway, I shall answer the question pictorially.
bryntin normally is this:
I am driving this car. My blog is relatively new, and most days present me with a wide world of creative possibilities, to drive along, exploring happily wherever I will. Because my mind is a fruitful and fizzing fountain of fanciful fabrications. And a lot of other bollocks. Admittedly, my creative roads do tend to have a few more unexpected turn-offs to explore than this one appears to have.
But, for the last month…
I am in this car.
There is a distinct possibility that the pink thing up my nose is my right-foot’s big toe. There may still be a wide and wondrous world outside but I have no idea where the door handle might be, or indeed where my hand is, in order to extricate myself. And it’s dark.
This is obviously a metaphor. I am not really in either car.
But it does illustrate how my energy levels determine the creative energy–or any other sort of energy–that is available in my head when I am in the grip of an MS lull. An attack normally comes with a exceptionally high level of ‘can’t be bothered, leave me alone, I want to go to sleep‘. And at these times, using devices with screens is highly wearying to me, and thinking what word comes next is hard enough–commonly resulting in sentences like ‘I’d love a cup of…. thing?’–let alone creating silly verses and stuff for here.
And to be honest, over the last month, I have had to choose spending my increasingly sparse energy resources on managing what real life I can. In particular, staying awake and alert enough to do the job which pays my wages on the days when I have to do that.
There are signs a return might be possible soon. I can feel some fresh air coming in as a draught up my left trouser leg. If I can find my legs, I might get out soon.
But at least I haven’t deleted the blog entirely this time.
Thank you for your question, Don.